


Paraphilia

by Prophylaxis



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: 90 percent of the time, Blood, Come Swallowing, Drabble Collection, Drinking, Emetophilia, Established Relationship, Forced Cannibalism, Gore, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, M/M, No Proof Reading we die like Men, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Vomiting, bottom edd, everyone is a bastard to varying degrees, except edd, how prophylaxis got his groove back, in a roundabout way, most of the time at least, short edd, ugly bastard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:00:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26999317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prophylaxis/pseuds/Prophylaxis
Summary: “It’s like you don’t even know the characters!” - Matt,Fanservice 2A collection of drabbles centred around the gang. Of course, me being me, expect things to get dark.
Relationships: Edd/Eduardo (Eddsworld), Edd/Matt (Eddsworld), Edd/Tom (Eddsworld), Edd/Tord (Eddsworld), Matt (Eddsworld)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. A Note Before We Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter’s basically an extended summary about what will go down in this fic. Feel free to skip.

So before we get started, I wanted to outline a few things about what to expect from this fic.

Firstly, every drabble will be very loosely on an Osomatsu-san fanwork of some sort. Whether that be a doujinshi, a short comic, or, yes, a fanfic. Bear in mind, when I say very loosely, I do mean _very loosely_. I will not be putting in the time to translate each work, merely basing the drabbles on what I can glean from the pictures and what little Japanese I can sight read. Besides, I don’t want each drabble to be a 1:1 comparison to the work it’s based off of. I want to be at least _somewhat_ original.

That said, I will be linking each work at the beginning of each drabble. You don’t have to have a working knowledge Osomatsu-san in order to understand the drabbles; they’re just there in case you’re interested.

Secondly, there is a generally a strict shipping order, because I’m a gross person who likes ships with strict top/bottom. The standard order, from top to bottom: Tord, Matt, Tom, Edd. Should the neighbours appear, the order is then reversed: Eduardo, Jon, Mark, Todd.

Mind, the order’s not set in stone, and characters can and will change places (especially in regards to Matt). It’s just a matter of personal preference; you’re more likely to see TordTom and MattEdd then TomTord and EddMatt, say.

Finally, Matt’s right. I really _don’t_ know the characters. I was pointed here by someone calling this series “Osomatsu-san but British”. While I am trying to get a better feel for this series, at this time of writing I’ve only viewed a couple Eddisodes, read the entirety of the Eddsworld TV Tropes page, and viewed some fanworks (mostly on pixiv). So character’s are likely to be wildly off the mark.

Tl;dr don’t expect a lot out of this fic. Think of it as someone stumbling into a bar for the first time and acting like they’re a regular. That’s basically what’s happening here.

(P.S. For those wondering when the next chapter of Cecidia’s coming out, I swear I _am_ working on it. At lot of bad things happened to me this year, and I also lost a good chunk of it when I was transferring it over from my old laptop to my new desktop (for reference, the chapter is currently twice as long as the previous one, and it’s not even done). To compare myself to an artist, this fic is a warm-up sketch, while Cecidia is the actual work.)


	2. Will (Ugly Bastard x Matt, INCOMPLETE)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/72846528

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See those archive warnings up there? This is the chapter they’re for. Mainly for the work’s it’s inspired by; seriously, watch out for gore if you click that link.

Matt settled the heavy bag onto the entranceway, “...So it’s about a day’s drive from here, but that’s only for the interview part. The real job is somewhere close by!”

No response. Undeterred, he continued, “I’m finally gonna get a real job, with a real income! Now we don’t have to rely on Edd’s commissions or sell our furniture!”

Still nothing. Taking this as his cue to leave, Matt swung the bag over his shoulder and waved goodbye to his uncharacteristically silent flatmates.

It was only after he heard the click of the door locking behind Matt that Edd spoke up, “...I don’t know about this, Tom. Should we stop him?”

Tom said nothing, his eyes trained on the door.

  
  


It seems, to the disbelief of Edd and Tom, that Matt found himself a job. Normally a cause for celebration, at least in Edd’s eyes, but there was something wrong about the whole thing. A stranger had stopped Matt one rainy afternoon, said something about his “manly physique” and how he would be perfect for this job he was offering. Oh, but the main offices were down south aways and you’ll need to go there for the interview.

It just _reeked_ of sleaziness, with Tom even commenting that it sounded like the beginning of a bad porno. 

But Matt was a strong, fit individual. Even if he did get tricked into doing something unsavoury, he could easily strong-arm his way out of it.

  
  


Tom was out late, again. Drunk, as per usual. Being accosted by strangers looking to take advantage of his state, as was common.

What was not common was for a stranger to offer him a DVD. The case was clear, showing off the completely blank DVD resting within. Naturally, Tom hesitated.

“I promise ya, it’s somethin’ _real_ nice,” the man said.

If his head were clearer, Tom would’ve told the man to fuck off, that he wasn’t gonna convert to whatever weird-ass cult he was in, that he wasn’t gonna watch his undoubtedly shitty homemade porn.

Instead, Tom gingerly took the DVD from the man, thankful his fingers weren’t sticking onto it’s case.

“So how much?” Tom asked.

“For you? Free.”

Tom whistled at that, still inspecting that case. Whatever. If the man didn’t want money, then Tom would take it. He was in the mood for a cheap laugh anyway.

Tom offhandedly thanked the man, then continued his way home.

  
  


The house was dark by the time Tom returned. It was a late hour, of course Edd would have tucked in for the night. So would— 

No, Matt was still at his “job interview”. This was the third day he was gone. One day there, one day for the “interview”, one day back. Three days in total; he should be back by now.

A brief check of the place showed Tom that no, evidently he was not. Tom wasn’t too concerned by this, as there were a myriad of possible reasons for Matt’s lateness. Maybe he stopped by somewhere on the way to/from this place. Maybe the “interview” was taking longer than expected. Maybe all of the above.

Popping the DVD into its tray, Tom settled in on the sofa. Whatever this was, he hoped it would be short. He was getting tired.

The static flickered, and switched to a rather bleak scene. Time stamp in the corner, the camera showed a concrete room, empty save for a folding chair and someone sitting on—

It was Matt.

A green overcoat over a purple hoodie, a square jaw, an eager smile on his face — there was no doubt in Tom’s mind that it was Matt.

“Thank you for having this interview with us,” someone off-screen said. There was something about the voice that made Tom squirm. It was too slimy, too vile.

“Is this your first time being interviewed?” the voice continued.

“Indubitably,” Matt replied, a little too proudly.

Tom scoffed, “So the idiot went and actually landed himself in a bad porno, and he wants us to be the test audience. Great!”

Tom took stock of the room, all at once aware of how loud he - and the television - was. He didn’t want to wake Edd and have him view...whatever this was. Tom turned down the volume, low enough that he could still hear what Matt was saying, though the interviewer’s voice became muffled.

“Um, yes! I would like to know what this job offers,” Matt was saying.

A muffled question, and Matt nodded. Though he was still smiling, confusion had started to paint over his features, “Yes, I came here alone…”

Another muffled question, and Matt suddenly stood up, keeping one hand on the back of the chair. Confusion had completely overtaken his visage.

This was quickly replaced with alarm.

“Wh-what is that?!” he was shouting.

Matt’s eyes were widening, and he raised his arm defensively, “What do you plan on doing with that?!”

He gave a startled noise in response to the muffled answer, then took off in a sprint, knocking over the camera in the process.

“After him!” a muffled voice yelled, loud enough for Tom to hear.

In the chaos of the chase, Tom simply sat there, dumbfounded. His mind was blank. It was as if his brain refused to comprehend just what was happening to his flatmate, to his _friend_.

The camera had been picked up, and Tom could see the back of the interviewer. He was noticeably overweight, but judging from the trees passing by he was a fast runner. Speaking of which…

“Where is this…?” Tom found himself asking out loud. A forest, obviously, but which forest? How many forests were south of where they lived, anyway?

A flash of vivid green against the otherwise dull colours of the forest caught Tom’s eye, and he belatedly realized that the cameraman must have caught up with Matt.

Matt briefly looked over his shoulder, a look of pure panic on his face, one that only grew upon seeing just how close the two men were.

Then the camera clattered onto the earth, facing away from the group. Judging from the noises Tom could hear, there was quite the struggle happening.

“Let me go—Stop! Don’t—” were some of the overlapping protests spilling out of Matt, before Tom heard a sickening _thwack_ accompanied by a yelp.

“Oh Matt, what have you gotten yourself into…?” Tom questioned as the camera was picked up again, bringing Matt into focus.

He was held down by a pair of strong hands tightly gripping his wrists. His hoodie was split down the middle - seeming to have been cut open with a knife - and pushed aside, exposing his bare skin. A painful looking bruise adorned the corner of his mouth, and tears were welling up in his eyes.


	3. In Which Edd Tells His Boyfriend That He’s Breaking Up with Him As A Joke (TordEdd, TomEdd, MattEdd)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/59915935 (page 6)

_ TordEdd _

“Tord, I’m breaking up with you.”

No sooner did that sentence leave Edd’s lips that Tord abruptly switched off the television.

“Sorry, what was that?” Tord turned to Edd, all smiles.

A pause. Then, “Um, I said that we’re out of cola.”

“Okay~, then let’s go to the store and get some,” Tord replied cheerfully, standing up to playfully ruffle Edd’s hair.

It was a simple question, but there was  _ something _ in Tord’s response to Edd’s joke that made him not want to advance any further.

“...Yeah, let’s go,” was Edd’s carefully measured answer.

_ TomEdd _

“Wh—”

Any question Tom tried to form instantly dried up in his mouth. Putting his drink down, he got up and half walked, half stumbled to where Edd was sitting.

“Wh—, bu—” were Tom’s aborted attempts at forming a coherent sentence. He settled for leaving his mouth slightly ajar. Cold sweat was beginning to form, and he was shaking.

Edd couldn’t bare to see Tom in this state, “Oh God, Tom, I’m so sorry that was supposed to be a joke I would never want to break your heart like that I didn’t mean to hurt you like that I—”

_ MattEdd _

Edd stood behind Matt for longer than was strictly appropriate. He assumed Matt was preoccupied with gazing at his reflection, when—

“What’s up, Edd?” Matt asked, the suddenness of it causing Edd to flinch. Especially so as Matt’s eyes never left the mirror.

More silence. Sighing, Matt put the mirror down, “...I won’t know what you want if you never say anything.”

Perhaps, Edd decided, it would be best not to tell Matt his joke.

“Nope! Nothing at all!” Edd said, a touch too brightly, as he turned on his heel.


	4. February 14th (MattEdd)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://twitter.com/cosmos211/status/828261251243388928

No matter how long Edd stared at the ceiling, it would not change.

Even when he heard the familiar click of the door being unlocked, Edd refused to move from his ceiling watching spot, choosing to slide his eyes over to the general direction of the door.

“Welcome back, Matt,” he said.

“‘m home!” Matt said simultaneously.

Edd resumed his ceiling watching ways, listening to Matt futz around their spacious flat, before he settled himself down on the floor next to Edd.

“Sorry, I got caught up with a fan who wanted to take a picture with me. Well, not really, but… Anyway, since today’s a special day, how about you decide what we get to do?” Matt rambled.

At that last part, Edd sat up, “Really? I get to pick?”

“Sure!”

“Then,” Edd said, a bright smile on his face, “How about we play hide-and-seek?”

Matt gave Edd a curious look, “Really? I thought you’d want to go cola shopping or something.”

“Nope! Hide-and-seek it is,” Edd said. Before Matt could say anything further, Edd stood up and made his way through the flat.

“You get to be it!” Edd called behind him.

“Alright,” Matt said, then covered his face, “Onnne, two, threee…”

Edd silently made his way through the flat, looking for his hiding spot.

“...Four, five,” Matt paused, then, “Did you find a place?”

“Yep!” Edd called from within the bowels of the flat.

Matt stood up and stretched, then began searching, “Okie-dokie Edd, where are you~?”

Matt passed by the front closet door. He briefly considered checking in there, but decided against it.

Upon hearing his footsteps leading away from the front closet, the door quietly clicked open.

Edd peeked out from his hiding spot, wanting to confirm that Matt was indeed heading away from him. Seeing Matt round the corner of the hallway, Edd cautiously exited the closet.

Rummaging through the entrance table, Edd continually looked up every few moments to make sure Matt hadn’t decided to double back into the hallway. After what felt like eons, Edd heard the soft jangling of what he was looking for: The keys.

_Thank God_ , he thought.

“Hey, Edd?” Matt called from somewhere deeper within the flat.

Edd turned to the front door. First lock, second lock, chain, and…

Gently opening the door, Edd took one last look inside the flat, then slipped out, just as gently closing the door behind him.

Finally out of Matt’s watchful eye, Edd practically flung his way down the stairwell. Making it to the ground storey, he darted to the front entrance, twisting the door open.

_Clunk_. Locked.

Swearing, Edd pulled out the set of keys from his pocket, thankful that he had the presence of mind to keep them on hand. Trying the first key—

Footsteps.

Edd froze.

More footsteps. Humming of a cheerful tune. Oh, Edd knew who it was.

Snapping out of his terror, Edd resumed his mission, frantically testing out each key on the ring.

_Open, open_ … More tests, more failure. _Open goddamnit!_

The lock finally clicked, and Edd pulled the door open…

The door was abruptly slammed shut, hard enough to leave a dent in it.

“Found you,” Matt said.

Blood dripped from the underside of Matt’s fist.

“Really now, Edd, you sure were hard to find!”

Edd dropped the set of keys.

“But if I never found you, then the game would go on forever!”

Tears welled up in Edd’s eyes. Matt simply smiled.

“So! Now that we’ve done the thing _you_ wanted, we’ll do something _I_ want.”

Matt gripped Edd’s wrist, blood staining his hoodie.

“That sound good, Valentine?”


	5. My Edd (TordEdd)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/58622597 (page 2)

Edd glanced at the watch, biting back a sigh.

“Mn, it’s getting late,” he said aloud to no one in particular, “Guess I better head home.”

He was reluctant to do so; of course, the entire reason he was out at such a late hour was due to an incident at home. 

Tom was lecturing Matt about his messy room again, but there was an unnecessary viciousness in his tone. Edd tried to calm him down, only to be met with the brunt of whatever put Tom in such a poor mood. The argument escalated, and Edd eventually left the house in a huff.

Edd had said something _very_ rude to Tom before leaving, and now the guilt had settled in his stomach.

So lost in his own thoughts, it took him more than a few seconds to notice the figure standing under the streetlight.

At first, Edd only stared dully at the figure, mind blank. He was still processing his guilt, after all, and the person’s head was bowed. Still, those black jeans and red hoodie did seem familiar…

Edd mentally slapped himself. It was Tord, obviously. How could he forget what his former flatmate looked like?

On Tord’s side, it seemed that he was waiting for Edd to make the first move. There _were_ multiple questions Edd wanted to ask; why was Tord back in town? Why did he look so disheveled? Was he okay?

...Why wasn’t he saying anything?

Edd wouldn’t peg Tord as being introverted, but you would have to needle him in order to get any sort of explanation. Maybe this was that sort of situation.

_Like when he moved out_ was Edd’s reflexive thought, and he gulped.

Tord did state his reasons for moving away, but they only came out during his final goodbyes. Any inquiries before then would only be met with a small, sad smile.

Perhaps it was the result of his current guilt over Tom, but Edd suddenly couldn’t look at Tord anymore. Those days after Tord announced his intentions to leave were rough on Edd. He kept thinking it was because of something _he_ did, something _he_ said.

Tom and Matt were there to support him during these times, and eventually he forgot all about his guilt over Tord, if not Tord’s existence entirely.

But now, with Tord standing in front of him, all those feelings came rushing back.

Edd pushed past Tord. No, he was a lost cause. It was unlikely that anything Edd could say would mend their broken bonds. Besides, he had to focus on Tom, had to make sure he didn’t repeat the same mistake he made with Tord.

“Edd.”

Edd stopped in his tracks. Tord’s voice was hoarse and quiet.

“Why won’t you say anything…?” Tord continued, and Edd flinched.

“Don’t you realise how lonely I’ve been…?”

Now that wasn’t fair.

Edd turned to face Tord, “To—”

“Wow, you actually turned around!” and before Edd could react, a piece of cloth was clamped over his nose and mouth.

Edd’s nostrils flared. Chloroform.

Edd immediately fought back; tugging at his assailant’s arm, throwing a punch, anything to get _away_.

But Tord’s grip was firm, and Edd was quickly losing strength. He tried screaming, but any sound he made was absorbed by the cloth.

“You know, Edd, I really thought I could make it on my own,” Tord was saying as Edd struggled, “Day in and day out, I honestly believed that I could achieve my dreams without you around.”

Edd could feel his body going limp, and Tord adjusted his grip so that it was more gentle, “But I couldn’t stand being away from you for any longer. I needed you, Edd.”

“I could move back in, but that would mean I’d have to deal with _those_ two again. I could try to convince you to move to the city with me, but I know what you’re like. I know you wouldn’t want to leave those assholes.”

Tord tilted Edd’s head up so that their eyes could meet. Through his fading vision, Edd saw that Tord was smiling, but it was wrong. It was all wrong.

“You’re _mine_ , Edd. Not that narcissist’s or that Jehovah’s Witness’. _Mine_.”

The world was spiraling into black, and Edd could only catch fragments of what Tord was saying, “... flat … made for you … all you want … don’t leave …”

“... love you, Edd.”


	6. Last Phone Call (Ugly Bastard x Matt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/66947188 (pages 20 & 21), as well as the original comic that was based on, which has since been deleted. Also borrows elements from a different comic, which has _also_ been deleted :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't make me tap the sign *taps the content warning tags*

The living room phone rang.

Tom and Tord were seated on the sofa, with Tord absently flipping through channels while Tom nursed his glass of whiskey. Edd had just entered the room, having fed Ringo moments before.

“Edd, go answer the phone,” Tom said, eyes not leaving the telly. Edd made a disgruntled noise, but did as he was told.

“By the way, where’s Matt?” Tord asked.

“On a date,” Edd called over his shoulder.

“Dead,” Tom answered simultaneously.

“Good for him,” was Tord’s noncommittal response.

With a sigh, Edd picked up the handset, “Hello?”

For a few seconds, there was nothing but static. Then—

“ ”

“Why do we still have that old thing anyway?” Now it was Tom’s turn to ask pointless questions.

“So if someone needs to contact all of us they can do so.”

“Mn,” Tom tilted his head back, glancing at Edd.

“Edd?” he asked, causing Tord to look over as well.

Edd’s gaze was firmly planted to the floor, looking overwhelmed. He was gripping the handset hard enough that his knuckles had gone white. His mouth hung open slightly, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the right words.

“You okay Edd? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Tord said.

“...Matt’s in trouble,” Edd finally settled on.

Tom and Tord burst out laughing. Tom recovered first, “That’s all? What, did he get himself stuck in a zombie infested underground again?”

“That’s not it.”

“He was fine on his own the last time, and this time he doesn’t have the emergency cola with him. Why bother?” Tord asked.

“That’s not it. _That’s not it_ ,” Edd stressed, and the two saw that tears were beginning to form.

Tom set his drink down, the gravity of the situation starting to sink in, “Edd, give me the phone.”

Edd passed the handset to Tom, who grabbed it with a little too much force. He was angry, that was for certain. Tom was fine with his friends getting prank called, but enough to make said friend _cry_? That was crossing a line.

There was some fear mixed in too, admittedly. What if something bad _did_ happen to Matt?

“Yes?” Tom asked, tone terse.

“ ”

Tom gasped, a hard shutter surging through his body. The handset slipped from his grasp in the process, careering onto the phone’s base and slamming against the loudspeaker button.

Now all three could hear what was on the other line.

Someone...someone was whimpering. A low, heaving sob that sounded distant, like it came from the opposite end of a room.

Matt.

“Oh ho, we on speaker now~?” someone who clearly wasn’t Matt said. There was a vile tone in his voice, an oily quality to it that caused all three of their skins to crawl.

“Hey Matty-boy, we’re live now! Why don’t ya say something nice to your friends while we set up the _finale_?” and the sound of Matt’s sobbing grew louder as the phone was apparently brought over to where he was.

At first, there was nothing but the sound of Matt weeping, until—

“...Help…”

The plea came out small and pitiful. His voice was hoarse, as if he had been screaming for hours on end. It dawned on the three that he must have, given how long he had been gone for.

Matt continued his quiet pleas for a few moments more, before taking in a deep breath, and…

“HELP ME! PLEASE, GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME! EDD, TOM, TORD! I - THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME, I DON’T WANT TO DIE! I DON’T WANT TO DIE, PLEASE—ghkt” Matt’s screaming was quickly silenced with a sickening _crack_.

“Sorry to interrupt ya, Matty-boy,” the slimy voice spoke up, “Don’t mind me. Please, continue.”

Only the sound of Matt’s laboured breathing came through the other line. The voice didn’t seem to like that, as a hard slap was soon heard.

“Don’t be shy, Matt~. Say something!” the voice was cheerful, but there was a dark undertone to it.

“...Please don’t—” was all Matt could get out before another _crack_.

Multiple cackles filled the other line. There was more than one person doing this to Matt.

“How ya folks at home doing?” a different voice asked, though just as disgusting. In the background, the sounds of Matt yowling in concert with organic crunching noises filled in the dead air.

“We originally wanted ya folks along for the whole ride, but we were still figuring out how to set up the whole thing. And boy, did Matt not make it easy for us! He’s a fighter, that one. We also got a little carried away, so you ended up missing most of it.”

“Ah, if only you could see him now! We’ve seated him in our finest chair. Comfy, so as long as you mind the spikes. We also cut off bits of his fingers and ears; you’ll be getting them in the mail soon. Oh, and we threw him a baby shower, if you know what I mean,” an immature snicker accompanied the last statement.

The second voice’s attention was turned back to Matt upon hearing how wet the crunching was becoming.

“Well, I think it’s time for Matt to leave the stage. Any last words to the audience?”

Matt only made a gurgling sound in response.

A few more sounds of something blunt striking against something organic, and Matt ceased to make any noise at all.

For a few agonising seconds, there was only silence. Then the first voice spoke, low and quiet.

“See ya later.”

Only the sound of a dial tone filled the space.


	7. Scissors (Cola Losers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/56864864 (pages 1 & 2)

Edd was a kind soul, as far as Eduardo could tell.

He’s seen the way Edd talks to his flatmates, all warm smiles and pleasant noises emanating from his throat. Sure, there was the occasional fight, but he would forgive them in due time. Edd was the forgiving sort at any rate.

Today too was an example of Edd’s kindness, as Eduardo watched the trio over the fence. Edd had just made a joke, perhaps a pun of some sort, and the other two were laughing. Even that sour Tom was amused, a sardonic grin on his face.

Edd was the most entertained by his little joke, a wide, open-mouthed smile adorning his features. Such a beautiful sight it was, one that he so easily gave away.

But not to Eduardo. Never to Eduardo.

To Edd, Eduardo was a pest. An annoyance that, once removed, would provide great joy. That must be how Edd felt about him, because why else would every look he received be one of disdain? Why else every word received be as part of an argument?

Those gentle smiles were not for _him_. Those warm words were never for _him_.

Eduardo watched the three retreat into their house. He had to change things.  
  


Eduardo’s chance came some days later, over a discussion about purchasing a new sofa. With Todd out trying to convince the neighbourhood that he was authentically British, Eduardo asked (more like ordered) Jon and Mark to go to the furniture store to pick out a sofa. Then it was a matter of asking Edd for a favour, and that was that.

The two were alone in Eduardo’s house.

Edd shuddered as he made his way through the halls, shoving his hands within his hoodie’s pockets.

“...So what was it you wanted help with?” Edd asked, turning to Eduardo—

“Isn’t that right, Edd?” and before Edd could react, Eduardo gave him a hard shove. The force of the shove caused his sock-covered feet to slip out from under him, sending him straight to the floor.

Edd gave a wordless growl as he glared up at Eduardo. He opened his mouth to say something, but Eduardo didn’t give him the opportunity. No, it was _his_ turn to speak.

“Why is it that you never send any kind words my way? Any time we talk, you always sound like you want to leave. Why do _those_ two get all the attention? The praise? Don’t they realise that you’re mine? Do _you_ even realise that you’re mine? I love you, yet you speak to me with such scorn.

_Isn’t that right, Edd_?”

Eduardo was speaking quickly, so of course Edd regarded him with a look of confusion. Though there was also unease within his expression, as if he understood Eduardo’s feelings but didn’t want to accept them. Like he feared what would happen if he did.

“Eduar-do?!” the last syllable leaped in pitch, as Eduardo suddenly snatched Edd’s tongue.

“If you’re never gonna say anything nice to me, then you’re better off not saying anything at all,” with that, Eduardo used his other hand to pull something out of his pocket.

Upon glimpsing the object, Edd immediately panicked. Tears welling up in his eyes, he tried to struggle out of Eduardo’s grip. He made the movement to stand, but Eduardo yanked him back down, causing Edd to fall forward. He made a strangled noise as Eduardo crouched in front of him.

“These scissors,” Eduardo smiled, giving the industrial scissors an experimental snip, “Make some _fine_ cuts.”


	8. After a Shower, Edd Discovered He was Being Watched, And… (TordEdd, general bottom Edd)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a comic which has since been deleted :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For future readers, this is the chapter that bumped the rating up from a M to an E

“What could this be?” Tord asked in a saccharine tone, picking the glass bottle up off the sink.

Edd stared at Tord.

The entire evening had been rather strange for Edd. His flatmates had been oddly taciturn, speaking quietly among themselves and growing silent whenever he approached. Even his shower was odd, as he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. Poking his head out from the shower curtain would yield nothing, however.

He had every right to be suspicious, as Tord waltzed in the bathroom the very second after Edd dressed himself, bottle in hand.

Edd wasn’t stupid. He was a grown man in his twenties, of course he would recognise the fluid occupying the bottle. At first he shot Tord an annoyed look, assuming this was part of some gross prank. But Tord simply set the bottle down on the sink counter and looked slyly at Edd.

It was here Edd recalled one of Tord’s hushed conversations with Matt earlier. While he didn’t catch the whole thing, what little he did pick up included “... force him to drink…”.

No. _No_. Tord seriously wasn’t— he wasn’t _actually_ planning to—

“Oh? You don’t know?” Tord broke the silence by cupping Edd’s cheek with his other hand. Edd reacted with a shudder and a startled noise.

Tord was apparently bemused by such a reaction, as a smirk crossed his features, “Why, this is…”

“Tom, Matt and I’s cum.”

“Y’know, it kinda looks like milk,” Tord continued conversationally, slipping a thumb into Edd’s mouth, “So just think of it as milk made especially for you.”

Cold sweat began pouring down Edd. He glanced desperately at the door. If he could just get past Tord, tell him he didn’t want to indulge in this sick game, maybe use violence if necessary—

No, if Tord’s words were true then Tom and Matt were in on this. What’s stopping them from standing on the other side of the door, waiting to pin him down should he resist?

“Hey,” Tord called, snapping Edd from his thoughts. Any jovial warmth coming from Tord was _gone_ , both in voice and expression.

“Will you drink it?” he asked, voice having dropped an octave.

Edd said nothing, feeling tears forming around the corners of his eyes.  
  


Edd had been holding on to the bottle for a good couple of minutes now.

He had been trembling ever since Tord handed him the bottle. Once or twice, he’d give the non-cum covered edge of the rim an experimental lick.

“Well? Are you gonna drink it or not, Edd?” Tord was back to his usual tone, acting as if this was a completely normal conversation they were having. Edd briefly considered stalling for time, that maybe if he waited long enough, the trio would grow bored and leave him alone—

“Chug it,” Tord ordered, causing Edd to flinch. Though he was still smiling, there was an undertone of impatience, one that suggested to Edd that he should drop his plan.

Edd swallowed. God, there was no other way around this, was there?

In a quick motion, he swung his head back and downed as much cum as he could.

It tasted salty. It tasted _vile_.

A panicked noise bubbled in his throat. He could feel his body squirm against the foul substance that had entered it.

Before he could stop himself, Edd spat the cum right out. In his haze, he glanced at the bottle, dismayed that it was mostly full. Christ, there was still so much more he had to go through...

“Oh, you threw it up,” Tord said, though he didn’t sound disappointed.

Expelling the cum wasn’t enough for Edd’s body, it seemed, as the contents of his dinner spilled out alongside the cum, splashing onto the floor. Chunks of partially digested food splattered against the growing puddle of brown and white.

“I forgot to mention,” Tord said as Edd continued to empty his stomach.

“Vomiting it up will result in _punishment_.”


	9. Meat (EddMatt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/55450386 (pages 10 & 11)

“You see, since humans are omnivores by nature, it makes sense that meat is a part of our diet.”

The knife in Edd’s hand swung through the air, stringy bits of blood connecting it to the flesh he was currently slicing.

“It started out as a way to survive. Eat whatever was available. But we’ve grown beyond that. We’re better than that.”

Edd hummed while he worked, separating wet meat from wet meat. Occasionally he’d attempt to make conversation with his guest, but said guest was stubbornly silent, so he settled on emphasising the importance of what he was doing.

“Take the pig. We’ve managed to figure out which parts were edible and which parts would kill us if eaten. More than that, we’ve figured out all the different ways we can eat what’s edible. Eat it raw, cook it, dry it out to make jerky…”

Edd arranged the meat on the plate just _so_ , hoping a pleasing display would entice his guest. Satisfied with the result, he got up and made his way over to his guest.

“Really,” he said, a serene smile on his face as he poked at the meat with a fork, “It’s amazing.”

Having picked out a piece, he offered the fork to his guest. The guest made no movement to take it.

“What, you don’t wanna eat it? I know I’m the famous bacon lover around here, but you like meat too, right?”

An annoyed sigh escaped Edd’s lips, “I’m not the best chef, but…”

Lowering the fork, an idea came to Edd, “I’ll just feed it to you! Okay?”

“Matt?”

Sitting in the chair was Matt, a heavy rope tied around his waist to the base of the chair. Similar ropes tied his wrists to the armrests. The ropes were snuggly fit, as evidenced by Matt’s fingers twitching in an useless effort to free himself from his binds.

Matt vehemently shook his head at Edd’s offer, small frightened noises bubbling up from his throat.

Edd picked up the fork again, “”Kay, say ‘Ahhh’.”

Edd aimed for Matt’s mouth, but Matt swung his head to the side. He squeezed his eyes shut upon hearing the _squelch_ of the meat pressing against his cheek.

Edd set the plate down, then grabbed Matt’s face, using his thumb and index finger to pry Matt’s mouth open.

“‘Ahhhh’,” Edd repeated in an exasperated tone.

The process went smoothly this time, with Matt’s tongue acting as a last ditch attempt to keep the meat out. Edd simply pushed past it, perhaps a little too far judging from the gagging sounds Matt was making.

Edd pulled the fork back, using Matt’s teeth to wedge the meat off, “Right. Now just chew and swallow.”

He clamped a hand over Matt’s mouth, “Don’t spit it out.”

Defeated, Matt did as he was told, muffled sobs in between the chewing.

Hearing a swallow, Edd finally let go of Matt, “There you go! See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Matt was a mess; tears poured down his face, mixing in with the drool leaking from his mouth.

“What a good boy you are, Matt!” Edd began petting Matt, a bright smile on his face, “Good boy, good boy.”

Matt didn’t resist Edd’s gentle touches, nor did he lean into them. Instead Edd decided to wait for some sort of response that wasn’t weeping. He eventually got it in the form of his name, quiet and broken.

“Well, we still got a lot more to go through,” Edd replied, “After all, that was just one piece!”

Now that Matt had found his voice, fragile pleas began to escape from his lips. Edd could see his eyes briefly flicker to the side, where a discarded blue hoodie lay.

“That sound good, Matt?”


	10. A Story In Which Tord Helps Edd (TordEdd)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/61066114

Tord slowly sat up in his bed. _God_ , was he thirsty.

Shuffling along the darkened halls that made up his home, he made his way to the bathroom. To his dismay, a light shone out from beyond the closed door. Occupied.

For a few seconds, Tord starred dumbly at the bathroom door, thinking that whoever was occupying it would emerge in a few seconds. When it became clear that would not be the case, he let out an irritated groan. Fine, he’ll just get water from the kitchen sink (he needed a cup anyway).

Taking a few steps away from the bathroom, he halted upon hearing someone retching.

Before he knew what he was doing, Tord slowly opened the door. While he was concerned, a greater part of him was curious. Curious to know who it is and what caused such a state.

Curious to see bits of the vomit? No, no, that was disgusting. He wasn’t _that_ depraved.

Shielding his eyes from the fluorescent light, Tord looked down to see Edd sprawled on the floor, hands gripping the side of the toilet bowl while his head bobbed above it.

“E—” Tord’s words caught in his throat. A sudden wave of worry washed over him as he watched Edd from above.

Crouching beside him, Tord’s found his voice again as a flurry of questions flew out, “Edd?! Are you okay? How long have you been here? Say something!”

Edd remained silent, staying motionless for a few moments.

“...Tord?” Edd asked, voice cracked and raw.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Tord put a supportive arm around Edd’s shoulder.

More seconds of silence. Then, “...It won’t come out.”

“It...won’t come out?” Tord echoed. He knew what Edd meant. But if that were true, then it would mean…

“Yeah,” Edd weekly replied.

“As in, the vomit’s not coming out.”

“Yeah.”

“And you tried forcing it out?”

“Yeah.”

Tord allowed himself a private smile. It was a good thing Edd was the one in this predicament. If it had been Tom or Matt, he would have left them to their own devices. With Edd—

“Do you want me to help?” Tord asked.

“Sure,” Edd said. He still sounded foggy and distant, like he was barely comprehending the world around him.

Tord took a deep breath. He was really gonna do this, wasn’t he?

“...Edd, open your mouth,” he commanded.

“My mouth?” Edd asked. Then, as if the fog in his head temporarily cleared, he added, “I already tried that. It didn’t—”

“But maybe you didn’t do it right,” Tord interrupted, “Like you removed your hand too fast or something.”

Edd screwed his mouth shut, mulling over his other options. Having found none, he slowly opened his mouth again, a silent offering to Tord.

Maybe it was just seeing Edd in such a woozy state, or maybe it was the way Edd had placed his trust in him, but there was something about this whole situation that excited Tord.

To see Edd so helpless, so dependent on Tord…he wanted to see that more often.

Bracing himself against Edd, Tord plunged his index and middle fingers deep into Edd’s mouth.

Tord was glad he was the one to catch Edd like this. It’s not that Tom or Matt wouldn’t have helped, but—

Retching sounds coming from Edd began anew, this time accompanied by the guttural sound of contents from the stomach rushing up the throat.

—But if _they_ were helping, then Edd would have been dependent on _them_. Not him.

  
  


“Better?” Tord asked after some time.

Edd hummed thoughtfully, “I don’t think any more’s gonna come out, so I guess.”

“Good for you.”

Edd was panting, but a bright smile was now adorning his features. His upbeat attitude had returned, evidently, “I owe you one, Tord. You really helped me out!”

“Yeah,” was Tord’s non-committal response. Then, “Hey, what was it you ate anyway? Are we all gonna be hunched over the toilet in the next few hours?”

“No, you’re good,” Edd answered, turning to Tord, “I mean, you’re _probably_ good. See, I had this bad dream, and when I woke up I felt like I was gonna throw up, so I’m not sure if it was the dream or…”

Edd continued rambling, but his words faded away as Tord noticed what was dribbling down the side of his mouth. Bits of vomit mixed with saliva traced his cheek down to his chin.

Tord couldn’t help but stare.

“Oh! Sorry Tord!” Edd suddenly exclaimed, “You got some puke on your hand. I was trying to hold it back until you moved your hand, but…”

Edd paused, noticing where Tord was looking. He touched his face, then jerked his hand away, “Ah, gross! I’ve got some puke on me!”

Tord glanced down at his hand. Edd was right, some of the vomit landed on him. Experimentally, he parted his fingers, strings of vomit connecting them together.

It wasn’t enough. He wanted more.

“You can wash it off here, I’ll use the kitchen sink,” Edd said, standing up. He pivoted on his heels, making his way out, “Anyway, goodnight To—”

A hand suddenly shot out, grabbing Edd roughly by the wrist.

“—rd?” Edd finished, turning back.

Tord finally stood, his face much too close to Edd’s. Edd made a confused noise, “Tord?”

It was such a cute sound, Tord couldn’t help but smirk.

“Edd,” he mimicked, cupping Edd’s drool covered cheek with his non-vomit coated hand. He relished the feeling of it beginning to flow over his thumb.

“Tord—”

“One more time,” Tord interrupted, pulling Edd back into the bathroom, “We’re not done.”

“Wha—Bu—” Edd managed to stutter out.

Tord briefly thought of Tom and Matt. If he wanted to do this, they would have to be quiet.

He silently shut the bathroom door, “You still have to cover my other hand, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy!
> 
> I recently started a NSFW Eddsworld Discord server. Please join if you're interested!
> 
> https://discord.gg/66sxGVf


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